How to prepare for postpartum
If your baby is due soon, you’re probably wondering how to prepare for postpartum. Thinking about your life once your baby is here is both exciting and unknown, and if you haven’t realised by now, there is a huge amount of information and differing opinions that can leave you feeling more confused than reassured.
As a doula, I've seen what works (and doesn't) for newborn mothers. I'm not talking about this brand of carrier, or that type of rocker.
“I’m talking about the root of what new mothers need after giving birth—love and support that build their confidence and enable them to trust their intuition when it comes to their baby. ”
This is the key to a smoother and happier transition to motherhood. In this article, I share some of the high-level science behind why that is, along with a list of practical things your friends and family can do to help you feel loved and supported during those early weeks and months.
Your brain changes after you’ve had a baby.
Did you know that after giving birth, your brain undergoes a dramatic change similar to that of puberty? Your brain elasticity increases, enabling you to learn all about your baby. At the same time, your cognitive function decreases, meaning your bandwidth is full, and you aren’t so concerned about doing that difficult math equation because your mind is focused on your newborn.
You produce more oxytocin - the love hormone - and oxytocin receptors that enable you to bond with your baby and your body to make more breast milk. You are more tolerant of monotony and boredom, and your empathy, compassion and perceptiveness of others' needs and emotions increase.
You also become better at assessing risk and multitasking, and your sensory awareness is heightened ensuring we are constantly aware of what’s happening in our environment so we can protect our babies.
Rest and digest, fight or flight?
In those early days and weeks of postpartum, you have two competing sets of hormones at play - the rest and digest hormones that are boosted by being shown care, kindness, and encouragement, and the fight or flight hormones, fuelled by stress, isolation, and overwhelm.
When the fight-or-flight hormones are winning the battle, they interrupt your ability to tune into the biological changes happening in your brain.
When you have the oxytocin-boosting space and support to adjust to this new version of yourself, you learn to tap into your intuition about your baby's needs and wants, allowing you to mother with confidence.
Plan for a positive postpartum experience
Just like birth, we need to curate the postpartum experience we want. This means taking time to think about what's most important to you when you're pregnant, and then making plans to put that support in place.
Below are some areas of support you might want to consider, with links to local resources for those in the Sydney North Shore area.
Family & friends support.
If you have family and friends who are keen to help you in the days, weeks, or months after your baby arrives, be specific about what that help looks like. Often, people don’t know how best to support you, so don’t be afraid to make it clear.
I’ve put together a handy Google Doc you can use for inspiration or send around ahead of time. Feel free to copy and paste from the link below to create your own version.
[How you can help me (and my family) in the weeks after our baby has arrived]
Postpartum doula support.
A postpartum doula offers emotional, physical, and practical support. This looks like providing you with things that make you feel good so you can rest, recover, and feel cared for.
Here’s how a typical visit could go.
“A postpartum doula will turn up at your house with a nutritious snack in hand. She’ll give you a neck and shoulder massage while you feed the baby and offload about the night before. Then she’ll take the baby so you can shower, and while you’re doing that, she’ll tidy up your kitchen before preparing dinner for you and your partner to have later. Before she goes, she’ll make sure you’re fed, warm, and content. Perhaps you are tucked up in bed, sleeping soundly with your baby, before she slips out the door.”
Doula support differs from other types of support because a doula is an all-rounder. She's like a non-judgmental mum who knows what needs to be done without being asked. She listens when you need to rant or cry, and she'll validate your feelings. She'll tell you what a great job you are doing, remind you how strong you are, and tell you you're beautiful despite having week-old unwashed hair. A doula recognises that this period in your life deserves recognition, respect, and reverence.
North Shore Doula postpartum packages
Not another onesie
A website devoted to helping you find your people and crucial support as you enter motherhood and beyond.
Physical health.
It’s common to feel at odds with your body post-pregnancy. It looks and feels different, and it does things it’s never done before. Getting on top of any issues is really important. Remember, it’s essential care, not a luxury, to look after physical health. Visiting a women-focused practice can help you feel confident that you’re in safe hands.
Women’s Health Matters
Women-focused practice with locations in Hornsby, Berowra, and Wahroonga. Providing services including pregnancy and postpartum, mastitis, and Diastasis Recti Abdominis.
Mental health support.
Your brain undergoes significant changes during the postpartum period, which can be exacerbated by inadequate sleep and feelings of overwhelm. Don't hesitate to ask for help and advice from mental health professionals, even if it's just for some reassurance.
PANDA
Information and mental health support resources for new parents, including a mental wellbeing checklist, and articles on various aspects of your mental health during the postpartum period.
Breastfeeding support.
In the early days and weeks of postpartum, much of your life is going to be consumed by feeding. Getting support is vital to ensure you feel confident and encouraged to continue.
The Australian Breastfeeding Association's Breastfeeding Helpline - 1800 686 268 (24 hours, everyday) or mum2mum app
Practical services.
In those early months, the housework can certainly wait, but lots of people struggle with this, and that’s okay. If you have the budget, outsourcing housework and other practical tasks can give you back precious time to rest and recover, and relieve the stress of worrying about staying on top of everything.
Mums2Mums
High-quality home services company for mums needing help around the house, whether it's regular or one-off help.
https://www.mums2mums.com.au/locations/
Villey
Connecting you with local helpers who can assist you with family support, home resets and organisation.
Positive postpartum.
With knowledge, planning, and preparation, you can enter postpartum feeling positive and confident you can ride the waves, enjoy the good days and get through the challenging ones.
Your postpartum deserves to be as highly regarded as pregnancy and birth. When you feel loved, supported, and cared for during this time, it sets you and your baby up for the long term.
Share this article with your birth partner and others who’ll be supporting you during this time so they, too, understand what’s needed during this time.