Overcoming birth trauma and how to avoid it next time.

Labour & Birth
Written By Kelly Allen

One in three Australian women who give birth describe their experience as traumatic, according to a paper released in 2023. This statistic represents countless women and their families who have been left dealing with the impact of trauma from what should have been one of the most positive and profound moments of their lives. 

Birth trauma isn't always what you might expect. Typically, we think of instrumental or assisted deliveries or emergency caesareans as traumatic, and these things certainly can be, but a more accurate definition of birth trauma is:

“A woman's experience of interactions and/or events related to childbirth that cause overwhelming distressing emotions and reactions, leading to short and/or long-term negative impacts on a woman's health and well-being.”

Leinweiber et al., 2022

“It’s vital to remember that if a woman describes her birth as traumatic, these feelings must be validated. It’s not up to anyone else to decide what is or isn’t traumatic for her.”

Birth trauma comes in many guises. It can be on your body in the form of severe perineal tears or haemorrhaging, for example. Or it can be hidden, living in your mind and heart in the form of fear, disempowerment, or anxiety. 

Physical Birth Trauma

When a woman's body experiences injury during birth—tears, pelvic floor damage, caesarean complications—the pain extends far beyond the physical. There's often a deep sense of betrayal, as if her body has let her down at the moment she needed it most.

Feelings of shame and guilt stem from a woman believing her body 'let her down' in some way. Her injuries may prevent her from doing things she had expected to do, such as care for her newborn in the way she wanted, or attend to other siblings. She may experience feelings of disappointment that she didn't have a 'perfect' birth; therefore, she has 'failed' as a woman. 

Sophie's words capture this perfectly:

“I felt really sad because I had expectations of having a calm birth, which wasn’t the case with either of my births. I felt like my body mainly had failed and that I probably wasn’t meant to give birth.”
— Sophie


The pain and discomfort associated with physical birth injuries can also cause a woman to suffer from psychological trauma. At the same time, sleep deprivation and hormonal changes amplify these feelings, creating a perfect storm of physical and emotional distress.


Psychological Birth Trauma

Trauma doesn't always leave visible scars. Sometimes the deepest wounds are caused by experiences that leave a woman feeling disrespected, ignored, or violated.


Sally's story illustrates this heartbreaking experience: 

“I had been in labour for 15 hours, and I begged the midwife for drugs. I wasn’t being a martyr; I was just asking for help. She said I couldn’t be given any drugs until I had an internal examination. She put her hand inside me, with consent, but then she kept going higher and higher. I screamed out for her to stop, stop, please stop. I could feel her pulling and tugging on my cervix. I had never felt such excruciating pain. Afterwards, I was in shock. And she still didn’t give me any drugs. I had to have another internal examination, and only then did I get some pain relief. I went on to have an assisted birth with forceps and an episiotomy in a theatre room.”
— Sally

This is obstetric violence, experienced by one in ten birthing mothers. It leaves wounds that can't be seen and happens when a healthcare worker causes harm to someone who is pregnant or giving birth, or has recently given birth.

It can make the mother feel shamed, disrespected, ignored, powerless, or violated. It can include performing an examination or treatment without consent, or forcing the mother into making decisions about her care.

A woman may feel she has had a traumatic birth if she felt uninformed, confused, alone or unsupported during her labour and birth. Fear can also play a significant role in traumatic births. The woman may be fearful about something happening to her, her baby, or partner, or a deep-rooted or buried fear stemming from past experiences, both related and unrelated to pregnancy or birth. 

Regardless of how psychological birth trauma happened, it can manifest as postnatal depression and anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive-compulsive behaviours long after birth.

Creating sacred space to prevent birth trauma

This is where doulas feel called to support and be present for mothers-to-be. Women are physically and emotionally vulnerable during labour and birth and should be treated with the utmost compassion, kindness, and respect for autonomy. 

“A positive birth experience isn’t about everything going according to plan. It’s about a woman feeling empowered, safe, supported, respected, and nurtured throughout her labour and birth. Where she is free to ask questions and receive honest answers, having her own knowledge acknowledged and honoured.”

When these conditions are met, a birth can unfold in many ways and still be regarded as positive. 

The doula difference

When you are in the throes of labour, feeling scared and out of control, a doula will calmly and compassionately mop your brow, rub your back, and remind you of your choices, empowering you to do what is right for you in that moment. 

A doula is a woman-servant. There as the unconditional support and advocacy for the mother and non-birthing parent. A doula serves as a calming, grounded presence who isn't caught up in the medical aspects or the intense emotions swirling around birth. Instead, she holds and protects sacred space.

She offers encouragement and positive affirmations when doubt creeps in. She suggests optimal positioning that helps you feel more comfortable, and most importantly, she gently reminds you of your choices and autonomy when medical procedures are suggested.

These elements work together to help women avoid traumatic births and instead experience the profound transformation that birth can offer.

Preparing for birth after trauma

If you have experienced a traumatic birth, it is absolutely possible to have an empowering and positive birth afterwards.

It begins with processing what happened. This looks different for every woman and takes its own time. 

Some paths toward healing include:


Telling your story
Having a birth debrief with a trusted birth worker, or writing out your experience and creating a timeline of events and feelings, gives voice to your experience can be profoundly healing.


Finding your centre

Learning relaxation techniques, developing a meditation practice, or exploring other mindfulness approaches can help you reconnect with your inner wisdom and strength.

Reclaiming your power through knowledge

Reading empowering birth stories or listening to podcasts that expand your understanding can help you feel more informed and confident for next time.


Seeking professional support when needed

If trauma has severely impacted your life for more than four weeks, working with a trained psychologist who understands birth trauma is encouraged.

Building your birth team

While you can't control every aspect of what happens during pregnancy, labour, and birth, you can work toward creating an environment where a positive birth is possible and you can own your power.


Seek continuity of care whenever possible
Having the same medical professional throughout your pregnancy, who will be there when your baby is born, helps build trust and creates feelings of safety and support. When continuity isn't possible, a doula can provide that consistent presence focused solely on you and your family.


Ask good questions

If you're planning a hospital birth, these questions can help you determine if a particular provider or institution aligns with your values:

  • What are your current instrumental birth, episiotomy, and caesarean rates?

  • What are your policies and recommendations based on my specific circumstances?

  • Can I make informed decisions that go against your standard policies?

  • How do you support the natural hormonal physiology of birth?

  • What happens if I go past my estimated due date?

  • Will I have time limits placed on me during labour?

  • How do you feel about me having a doula?

Honour your instincts. If you don't feel good about anyone on your birth team, don't be afraid to listen to your intuition and make changes. This is your birth, your body, your baby.

Preparing your mind and spirit

Learning techniques to reduce anxiety and fear can help you deal with whatever labour throws your way.

Hypnobirthing teaches you to work with your body's natural birthing instincts

Visualisation helps you rehearse positive outcomes

Positive affirmations rewire limiting beliefs

Tapping (EFT) releases stored emotional tension

Massage connects you with your body in nurturing ways

Questions to ask during labour

Having a birth team that respects your wishes, knowledge, and power can help you avoid trauma and have a positive birth. 

If during labour or birth, interventions are suggested, here are some questions you or your partner can ask:

  • Why is this intervention being recommended? 

  • What are the risks and benefits of this intervention for me and my baby? 

  • What are the risks and benefits of waiting or not having the intervention? 

  • What are the success rates of this intervention, and what happens if it doesn't work? 

  • What are the potential impacts on my recovery and breastfeeding?

  • What method of intervention is being suggested? 

  • What will the intervention feel like, and what pain management options are available? 


The answers to these can help you make an informed decision about next steps, which will help make you feel empowered and confident. 

A sacred journey

Birth is a sacred rite of passage that requires everyone involved to honour the energy and power of the mother. You deserve to feel safe, nurtured, and supported. You should be empowered in your knowledge and given respect as you bring new life into the world.

Your birth might not unfold exactly as you hope or imagine, but when your autonomy and choices are respected, and space is held for your experience, your birth can still be positive and profoundly empowering.

Every woman has the right to emerge from birth feeling stronger, not broken. With the right support, preparation, and mindset, your next birth can be a healing journey that transforms how you feel about birth and how you feel about yourself. 

Further resources

Overcoming birth trauma blog: Kelly Allen has long brown hair smiling into the camera

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About Kelly Allen

My name is Kelly, and I’m an emerging birth and postpartum doula who is completing training at the Doula Training Academy. I service women and birthing people in the North Shore of Sydney, helping you enter and emerge from birth and the fourth trimester feeling physically and emotionally well.

Kelly Allen
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